Through the Philosophers Door into the Labyrinth of ER

Through the Philosophers Door into the Labyrinth of ER

The afternoon starts out benignly enough.

I move through the bureaucratic gears of getting approved for my badge

so I can draw here at the hospital.

I have my mantox checked for a second time and

go to Security to check on my badge.

I am getting to know the folks there really well.

 The afternoon seems benign and quiet.

It is March.

It is still winter.

The physical potholes in the street are hard to avoid...

and perhaps so are the philosophical ones....

I find Josh in the doctors office where we agreed to meet.

Struggling with familiar foot pain.

The benign afternoon is eclipsed by the urgency 

to go to ER.

We sigh.

This is very familiar.

We walk through the basement labyrinth. Right past

places I have just been.

Up through down and over.

Once again I find myself in the familiar Lowly Place.
The place of drawing in an out of the way place
Like an Exam Room in the Emergency Room.
Bearing witness, paying attention...comforting as best I can...
and Drawing in the Moment.

We have two possible doors to enter.

The Philosophers Door beckons.

As we enter we pass through the Valley of Cares 

with Compassion.

A weeping family says good bye to an injured man

on a stretcher who is wheeled away.

They collapse into themselves.

We have our story and they have theirs. 

still....I remain curious and compassionate about

what happened? 

who are they?

did he make it?

did they?

In the familiar ER room Josh gets his gown.

 Once again with weariness...we tell our story.

We wait.

and wait some more.

Then out of nowhere a young lady appears with a survey.

Josh answers questions until interrupted by a doctors visit.

 I watch his heart rate numbers jump around and around 

and up and down.

It is crazy making.

yet...as we wait amid the quiet and the noise

the Divine Hand reaches for us..

as we reach for it...

we craft some kind of solace as best we can

ER is always noisy.

beep beep...moan...cries...phone conversations..beep beep

beep beep...moan...moan from another room..

I run to get food and get to the cafeteria with

30 seconds to spare.

We wait.......a doctor comes in...

I take a break and walk around the ER unit...past people

who are alone..past those having a party in their room with 

visitors crowding out into the hallway...

I circle round and round

 Josh is admitted because of his chronic heart issues.

We part.

A nice red haired security guy brings me to my car.

He watches as I navigate the ice and potholes.

It is still winter.

I come home to a quiet house and the comfort of my cats.

 In the morning Josh calls and I bring him home....

not much is resolved...

"This experience was that I went in with my same pain

I came home with..."

I sigh and remember other times....

As I go to paint an actual pearl falls out of my

iridescent paint bottle. I seize upon this symbolism

wishing for pearls of insight that will form

from all of this struggle and uncertainty.

.....and.....

The Philosophical Questions remain...

How much more time??

I hold onto the hands of the clock as its hands reach for mine.

What next?

How much more time?

What next?

The Lowly place remains... I continue drawing where I am.
The end ....for now.